Alot of things happened recently. Dont wish to mention much as i saw a phrase from Marcus's Friendster. - Silence says more than a thousand words.- True enough...

My relationship with Dear was quite bad. Not becos of the rumours things. I know that Dear's feelings towards me has faded. But i know he is trying his best to save the relationship. But love cannot be forced. I can understand. When i knew about the message that was sent to all my friends, I find it funny. She wrote that Dear loves me a lot and cherish me. Oh pls, Come on. Get the facts b4 u write. No wonder Dear didnt even bother abt her. She doesnt know that our relationship turned bad le.. And she said my boss paid for transport , food and even holiday expenses... Craps. What a joke man. LOLz. Her main purpose was to break me & Dear up. Hmm... But can i say that she actually made it? Dear wasnt affected by the msg at first but the second one came out. And he say the msg did affect him. SAD. The one who love me dont believe me.

I knew he has no feelings towards me already. So i think the best choice was to end the relationship. He agreed too. I was upset and cried. I cant even see him again anymore.I broke up not because i dont love him , in fact i do love him alot. Even though we have been together for almost 4 months , he brought me alot of good memories. I do wish that we can still continue to be friends. He is going to Brunei soon. Wish he can really take care of himself. Brunei weather very terrible. And he cant tahan hot one. Worry for him. But he wont know.

And something more serious. I might be pregnant. Haiz... Went for the first test. Negative. Second test today- like got 2 lines. Shit lah... This time. Have to go test again... But i dun intend to let him know if i am really pregnant. Dont wanna stress him. He got too much stress in his camp le.. I think i would make my own decision on what to do if it really happens. Sian... So much things happened. AND I REALLY MISS HIM ALOT NOW.

He was someone whom i didnt pin much hopes on, cos i no longer trust guys but he prove me wrong. Yet now i think i m wrong.





Dearest Alen,

All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That's holding me all night
I don't know how I found you
I'm thankful that I have.

Darling Valyn.

I stay overnight at Miko's place the other night. We have got nothing to do therefore we thought of going for a jog from Rivervale to Fernvale. Quite far actually..We satarted off the journey at 0220hrs. We jogged past Compassvale and Sengkang. The whole journey was fun. We walked along the roads. No cars no people... We can only heard the wind. As we were walking, I thought of Dar and the rumours thing. Miko got her own problems too. I didnt met Dear for a week plus. And i really miss him alot. We reaached home around 0530hrs. Legs are tired.

When i woke up in the morning, my legs' muscles hurts. It hurts when i walked. So i can only walked slowly. Till now, 2 days later, my legs still pain. Sob sob.. I wish Dear was around. Went for work today in Rivervale also. Quite bored nothing to do.

Was waiting for Dear to sms/call me. He is always busy with his stuffs. But i never blame him for that. Have to understand. My mood isnt good this few days.Is all because of him. Feelings fades. My heart 's crying. I dont know what to do. Should i let go or continue? If i let go , i am afraid i will regret. I called him earlier on and we chatted for awhile. He said the Julie, a friend of his , asked him why he didnt sms her already? Then dun know what Dear say also. Then Dear told me he bought another watch. And he didnt use the one i bought for him then he left it aside. I always thought he likes the watch. I got a feeling that he is leaving soon. I cant imagine me without him. Though he is always in camp, but to me, i dun mind. I can feel that his feelings really fading fast. If one day, he wants to end the relationship , i will let go too. Cos if he is meant to be mine, one day we will get back together. If he is not , then we shall remains as friends.




Didnt blog for weeks... Not much things happened. Dear went to Tekong for his training so we didnt meet for the last weekend. Miss him badly... Saturday was Angeline's wedding. Miko , Dione and me went for the dinner. She was so pretty that day. No wonder people always brides are the prettiest.. That day went to Mt Faber with Miko & Lye Dong. Went up for a drink then he send us back home...

Dear wil only be back tml.. Sian lah... Didnt talk to him for days le.. But he say he gonna bok out on this coming Tues or Wed. hahaha.. Good good. Then we can meet up.

Bought the air tix to Guangzhou le.. About $250 each.. Budget airline - Tiger Airways.. Going there for 4D3N. Going to get a lot of stuffs for sure. Want to do my hair... Buy clothes.. HAHA... So exciting.. And of course see goods with Miko... How much should i bring? Hmm.. S$1000 enough? Then exchange RMB over there will be $5000 plus le... But bring more better... Just in case not enough use ma...

Going Sentosa this Saturday with Miko.. Tanning again... Wanna tan darker... Cos i think it will make me slimmer? Does this make sense ? I supposed...

Going to knock off from work already.. I m in the office now... I just simply love office alot.... Here everything also got... Just lack of personal toilet... =P .. Will stop here... Got more things then update....